I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize