Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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