just come out here and I will go home with you...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
