Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize