You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
