You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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