Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my sisters under your porch take her home
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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