She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
