I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
