On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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