Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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