If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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