dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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