tell your sister to shave her snatch
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
