So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
