thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
