i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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