He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
