help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
