Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
