Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
