The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have tasted many bathrooms
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
