Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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