Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
