I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My ass is underappreciated
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
