So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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