he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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