and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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