is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
