I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
