I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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