she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
