Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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