i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
