I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
