so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
