Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
