i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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