just come out here and I will go home with you...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
