i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
