You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
