Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
