just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
