yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
