Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
