did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
