Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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