Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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