I'm so fucking centered right now
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize