I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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