The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
