Do you still have your period?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
