apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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