I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
