the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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