DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
