I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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