I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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