Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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