Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
