Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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