your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
