Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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