addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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